Sunday 12 September 2010

New New Labour

These are very frightening times to be alive in London. David Cameron has announced that we are all deeply in debt and have to export our good weather to pay for Iraq and the Big Banks and Global Warming and so on.
Social Security and Disability Living Allowances will have to be cut, though in a sop to the Essex Estates, Muggers and Serial Killers will be eligible for performance related bonuses- especially if this ties in with London's re-designation as 'Jack the Ripper Land' in an attempt to attract Far Eastern sex tourists.

Against this background, what may I ask, is Labor doing? Why is whichever is the more personable of the Milliband muppets not glaring glassily into the T.V camera chanting 'New New Labor, New New Labor, New New Labor' while swallowing field mice whole?
And what's with this guy Ed Balls. Balls? I mean- seriously- Balls? Is this what things have come to?
What happened to the good old fashioned type of Labor candidate- i.e. a barking mad dipsomaniac absolutely riddled with kinky sexual fetishes and a long history as a triple agent for the K.G.B the C.I.A and the P.T.A?
What I say is bring back National Service. This country has gone to the dogs.

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